Monday, August 29, 2005

Skullcandy Money Clip

Your friend and helper

One Saturday we as a modern man has nothing better to do but to go shopping. The word 'shopping' is used here deliberately, because I have read in a women's book, shopping 'and' shopping 'are different things. Shopping is, if you needed essential items such as food or paper towels. , Shop 'is then typically for the purchase of non-essential items, such as the 35th Pair of stilettos. I was shopping so (which you can surely use it as a verb). Only in train with my brother. The shoes still needed for his new suit, I'm indispensable as a style expert for the family of course. Clock at 14:00 I was already in Zurich to meet with my friend with whom I traveled the country by Mr. Miagi. I was a little late, but he is, claims to not resentful. We walked around and were a little frustrated if the individuals that just this Saturday and shopping, 'wanted. Added to this was the fact that for this evening that Dörflifäscht '(with, Dörfli' is of course not Zurich - fanciest-town-on-earth - meant to be, no, no, who would that idea, but the Lower Village) was recognized. It therefore urged us find additional eggs through narrow alleys and remained open-mouthed in front of the colorful shop windows. Such as holding it is when the farmer comes to the city.
Fortunately, sometime late enough to take some food. I was unnerved not only because of the crowds, but the unspeakably bad music in the shops. When I was a saleswoman 40 asked if they not the madness in the eye squinted, with so much noise, she said no. That about says enough about her condition. She was already mad.
decided any case, we look for somewhere in the Escher Wyss Platz for a trendy restaurant and drove to the hardware bridge past the parking lot. My friend put a bit stoned after the 10th empty parking space finds that he actually already had his car can park, but we were too far and needed a ride again.
When trying again I noticed something that made my heart beat faster. A police car was easy to cross on two disabled parking spaces. The uniforms themselves distributed parking fines. PARKBUSSEN!
In solch denkwürdigen Situationen kann ich natürlich nicht widerstehen. Ich also raus aus dem Wagen, mein Freund fütterte inzwischen die Parkuhr, mein Mobiltelefon gezückt und mich demonstrativ seitlich auf der Fahrerseite postiert, um das Vergehen festzuhalten. Währenddessen hatten die Uniformierten wohl genug Zettel geschrieben und kamen wieder zu ihrem Wagen zurück. Der Fahrer war schon eingestiegen, doch sein Kollege wurde auf mich aufmerksam.

„Nähmed sie d’Kamera abe!“, ich reagierte nicht sofort und er setzte nach, „ich muess süsch na kontrolliere was sie druff händ!“. Na gut, das klang ernst. Ich ging also auf ihn zu und sagte: „Ich finds nur amüsant, dass sie ufem Behinderteparkplatz stönd“

„Händ sie es Problem demit?!“

„Nei, aber es isch doch witzig dass sie Parkbuesse verteiled und glichzitig ufem Behinderteparplatz stönd.“

„Findet sie das witzig?!!!!!!“, offensichtlich du Idiot, sonst hätte ich es wohl kaum gesagt!

„Sind sie behindert?“, fragte ich ihn und mir lief es kalt den Rücken runter. Verdammt, meine Tonlage klang mehr nach Vorwurf als Frage. Ich Volldepp, das ist kein gewöhnlicher Bürger, den darf man nicht einfach beleidigen.

Vor meinem geistigen Auge sehe ich, wie er ausrastet; Sein Kollege hinzukommt; Ich mit auf den Bullenposten muss; Er in unsäglich langsamem zwei-Finger-System sein Protokoll verfasst; Mich den Wisch unterschreiben lässt; Ich eine Strafanzeige wegen Beamtenbeleidigung kriege; Keine Schusswaffe beantragen kann, wegen meinem versauten Leumund; Die Ausländerbehörde meinen C-Ausweis nicht verlängert; Ich nach Deutschland muss und die Bundeswehr mich einzieht.
Ich versuchte zu retten, was zu retten war und schob blitzartig ein: „Dörfed sie überhaupt uf Behinderteparkplätz stah?“, nach. Ein kurzes aufleuchten seiner Augen verriet mir, er hatte die Beleidigung nicht als solche wahrgenommen, da er offensichtlich die Möglichkeit einer intellectual disability, sorry, koginitiven disability, in turn left out of account.
very confident, the man

"Wüssed it, my hands e Dienschttuftrag me dörfed Sun ziemli everything," he thundered triumphantly, and got into the car.

Phuuuuuuuuhhh, he preferred not considered to control me regarding my gut contents - in Züri just all a bit cooler.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Hotfile Enounce Myspeed

This is a robbery! In terms of friendship

My clock shows 19:35 and I'm on my way home to me the Sunday night movie on Pro Sieben wirblendenwerbungeinohnepunktundkomma to view. I turn briefly to the gas station Migrol Koller mill into train because I have a slight feeling of thirst feel and the cash girl is very pretty. Duly I turn of my car and get out when my focus is on a brand new Audi A8. At second glance, I notice that three extremely nebulous figures sit in it, which gets out of a straight. He comes up to me. He is clothed with this typical small criminal clothes that you know from 80s thrillers. Black pants, half-long black leather coat, a ponytail bound black hair and leopard-skin shoes. No kidding. The guy with leopard-skin shoes! We are running from the opposite direction along the gas station store at the entrance to. As we are about three feet away from each other, our crosses Blick. Wie in Hollywoodstreifen läuft das Bild in slowmotion. Erst die Kamera auf den Guten(moi) und dann auf den Bösen. Wieder auf mich. Wieder zu ihm. Die schnitte werden hektisch. Unsere Augen werden eingeblendet. Abwechselnd. Noch immer sehen wir uns in die Augen. Ich seh’ nicht weg. Ich bin der Silberrücken. Wie es schein werden wir zur selben Zeit beim Eingang sein und ich bin geneigt ihm den Vortritt zu lassen.


Er geht an mir vorbei ich biege ab in den Shop ein und merke wie mein Puls schneller geht. Im Seitenwinkel erkenne ich, dass er sich hinkauert und irgendwas an der Auslage mit Kühlflüssigkeit und Öl nestelt. Ich bin froh drinnen noch andere Menschen zu sehen. Das schöne Kassenmädchen habe ich inzwischen vergessen. Ich schiele aus dem Fenster und sehe den Audi. Der Typ auf der Fahrerseite trägt einen dunklen dreiteiligen Anzug. Ein helles Hemd, sowie auch eine helle Krawatte. Der andere hingegen könnte unterschiedlicher nicht sein. Er hantiert mit dem Zapfhahn und trägt eine tarnfarbene Militärhose, die dazu passende Jacke und Kampfstiefel. Das alleine gäbe ja schon zu denken. Was mir mehr sorgen bereitet ist der fürchterliche Bartwuchs. Völlig zerzaust und die langen speckigen Haare unter einer Truckermütze eingeklemmt. Er ist der klassische Psychopath, der in keinem guten Schlitzerfilm fehlen darf. Einer der ahnungslosen Hausfrauen die Kehle durchtrennt und dabei wirres Zeug brabbelt.

Der Leopardenfellschuh enters the shop and I'm taking a Capri Sun from the shelf. Multivitamin. Not orange. I'm standing right behind him at the checkout. For a moment, flashed something silver from his coat pocket and I'm pretty sure - the leopard-skin shoe has ne gun! I pretend I had forgotten something kick from the queue and post me behind the nearest shelf. If the type is already on the shop I will not let me miss, of course. But standing in the front row? If the mustache is big-bellied institution which has taken my place chubby, but keep the gun to the head can be. The leopard-skin shoe is finally on it and mumbles to the checkout girl, who I at this moment only think back and puts his hand in his coat pocket. He pulls away, I think I'll go and have a little time as a precaution in the knee. To my surprise, she takes three sandwich from the display case. And there is the sentence, the only criminal scoundrels have said. He says it loud and clear, in contrast to the sandwich order, almost as if he intended to reach as many people involved with before he flips. "A bottle of propane gas.

Hallllooooooooo! But even when there would Secondary school girls cash the alarm bells ringing. A guy with a ponytail, leather jacket and leopard-skin shoes want a propane bottle! A robbery and murder fängt in jedem schlechten Thriller damit an, dass ein Wahnsinniger bescheuerte Utensilien kauft bevor er alle Niedermetzelt. „So eine für den Grill?“, fragt das Kassenmädchen. Um Himmelswillen! Ist die jetzt völlig übergeschnappt? Was denkt die sich, wird der Leopardenfellschuh wohl sagen? ‚Nein, nicht für den Grill, wir fackeln nachher noch eine Kirche ab!’ Der Pferdeschwanz nickt, noch immer die Hand in der Manteltasche. „Und wozu dann die Sandwich?“, dabei lächelt sie freundlich. Man darf doch kriminelle nicht anlächeln! Die halten das immer für fieses Grinsen und setzten einem lässig 9 Millimeter Stahlummantelung zwischen die Augen. Ich will schon nach vorne brüllen, they will kindly hold their nose and give the nice gentleman just what he wants, here comes the military man, obviously finished Tankerei and a bottle of propane gas on his shoulders in the shop. Class. The psychopathic killer knife is still there now. I look outside and I as if the driver already started the engine. What the guys just wanted? Three completely suspicious men, two of them now in an absurd outfit in a brand new 200,000 francs car on Sunday evening just before eight a bottle of propane gas. Is this normal? I'm losing my mind for a short time and already find myself persuaded by the police the crime was committed. Everywhere people are bloody and paramedics search for individual body parts. Since my Capri sun falls from his hand.

I like leopard skin boots and military man see smirking leave the shop. No one is injured and apparently no one has to recognize the threat. Yes see for so what is not? I've seen too many bad movies? I pay my Capri sun in beautiful checkout girl, smiling at me exactly like the horse's tail and go to my car. The Audi is gone with the three crooks. I am somewhat relieved and disappointed at the same time. Probably not even a chewing gum have stolen. On the highway I see him then suddenly in front of me. The brand new A8. Solothurn indicator. This had to be yes. As yet, just a maladjusted. Ich fahre auf die Überholspur und taste mich heran. Also ich auf gleicher Höhe mit dem Fond bin sehe ich nach rechts. Der Militärmann glotzt mich an. Plötzlich dreht der Leopardenfellschuh von der Beifahrerseite aus den Kopf ebenfalls zu mir und schliesslich auch noch der Fahrer. Alle drei starren zu mir und mir ist als wollten sie mir sagen: “Wir wissen was du denkst…und du hasst völlig recht…deshalb müssen wir dich leider von der Strasse rammen!“

Wahrscheinlich bin ich gerade ein wenig blass im Gesicht. Ich trete aufs Gaspedal. 160, es regnet noch immer in Strömen. Ich ziehe hastig nach rechts und setzte dabei bewusst den Blinker(das tue ich sonst eigentlich nie, aber in dieser Situation erscheint it to me, particularly negligent, not to announce the lane change). At last I see my exit. Almost missed. thunders I have to brake heavily and look in the rearview mirror like the A8 past me. He goes in the direction of Lucerne. Phuuuuuuu. ... I can breathe. I drive a little confused the last few miles to my house.

That was enough excitement for a Sunday. I'll probably dispense times today on the action feature on Pro Sieben wirblendenwerbungeinohnepunktundkomma.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

How Much To Remove Lump Dog



few weeks ago I met again an old Kumpeline. I think nothing of friendships with women that do not end in the box. Why not? It's simple - because it sucks. This has nothing dogmatic or hostile. I have nothing against girls, I like to listen to her talk not only when there is no chance of success in physical proximity. Quid pro quo. I listen, nod, smile, give me gallant, flattering and interesting, but I will later see breasts. A fair exchange trading in the traditional manner. But as with all scientific knowledge, there are exceptions. One of them is just Kumpeline said (and my ex, which is noted at this point, my SMS to answer little faster, and finally I am still a very impatient person ;-))

When I Kumpeline, it was of now, K. genannt, kennen lernte war ich 16. Das ist also eine ganze weile her. Wir verbrachten damals ein Jahr im Internat zusammen und hatten eine menge Spass. Das hört sich jetzt irgendwie nach Kaffe und Kuchen an, aber man bedenke, dass wir mit 16 auf der Höhe unserer, durch die olle Pubertät bedingte, Rebellenphase waren. Zugegeben, sie noch ein bisschen mehr als ich, weshalb ich sie auch nicht als Objekt meiner Begierde sah, sondern als gleichgestellten Weggefährten. Wir schwänzten jeweils den Unterricht und lungerten in der Stadt rum. (das Internat befand sich eigentlich in der Stadt, aber wie sagt man, wenn man dorthin geht wo was los ist? Ich geh ins Zentrum? In die Mitte?)

Irgendwie verloren wir uns ende Schuljahr aus den Augen. Wie das halt so ist. Man verspricht sich Kontakt zu halten und die Sache verläuft im Sand. Die Erde dreht sich, das Leben geht weiter. Neue Freunde, neue Herausforderungen und so fort. Als ich, wie eingangs erwähnt, K. vor einigen Wochen zufällig wieder traf, verabredeten wir uns auf eine Partie Squash und schafften es tatsächlich gestern in die Halle, zwar mit etwas Verspätung, aber immerhin. Nach dem Match(das eigentlich keines war, da K. sich partout weigert zu laufen) tranken wir ein paar Bier zusammen und quatschten über alte Zeiten, Gott und die Welt, dies und das. Es war angenehm und ich wurde ein wenig nostalgisch, woran ich bemerke, dass ich ständig älter werde. Kurzzeitig war ich versucht, meine Theorie amend provisions Kumpelinen, perhaps one can depend on casual with all females. No, you can not, these are exceptions - and they should remain so. Now I'm curious if it again seven years until I K. see the next time.

Tuesday, August 9, 2005

Gaming Computer Pay Monthlty

Viva la Internet

Here's to the Internet. Hip, hip hurray. A truly magnificent invention. Apart from the fact that I am comfortable at home - live - can look in the pleasure garden of several courtesans, it simplifies my life tremendously. I would now not just among the addicts who spend their weekends and then usually to stupid LAN parties and down the latest Lara Croft Naked modules . Download But just to that group, which for convenience not do without power again. Times book just a quick flight, a hotel room reservation on the Adriatic, find out about the latest tips to extravagant tie knots on the online edition of GQ.
These are all nice things, and depending on the mood my favorite activity varies in different sectors.

My current favorite: BOL

The online book store (where the offer is not limited exclusively to books) covers a huge range, offers moderate terms of delivery (from 70 - orders the package is free) and you all may work for . get
Moreover, and this seems to me the most important thing, I do not need to Lucerne or Zurich to drive to find a decent bookstore, because there's only the train's shit-monopolists books Balmer AG . Two branches with the useful area of \u200b\u200ba kebab stand and a fabulous five and a half books range. On top of that operate in these bookstores, as in libraries, strange men over 40 with far too narrow, more gray than black, because faded jeans that go on and just above the ankle, and also continue with a very warm-looking knit socks. This plug in, oh yes I use clichés like, sandals. For all I Künzli health shoes, to not call Birkenstock need. In any case, have no idea. If I ask for a book that they look beyond their narrow pseudo-intellectual glasses and give a tormented "hmm" sound and put on a face, like the love Moritz when he learns that in Djibouti, the noise of the local fauna considerably by the drumming the local tribal residents will be disturbed. That's going too far when you have touched down very worried face and take immediate diplomatic action. A noise protection for building over 900 million must be found. But immediately. I digress. What was I saying? Ah yes, the bookseller. The

always say: "müestemer bSet ". Aha, we should. That means by implication that the ass would prefer not to order the book, because he

a) is too stupid to use the PC (which I suspect), or

b) my book choice either for literary value, yet socially responsible has (what seems to be the case)

otherwise he would have said: "müemer bSet".

This little but, but it seems to me, but important difference that, at this point that I easily lose my composure. When I was was in puberty I responded each abusive, "but you plug in bstellig d'ass!" is also appropriate for a 15 year old.
over the years we will be more subtle. We are a friendly and communicative, the ass can order the book and asks for a second book, when he stopped taking the first order. After a few orders to leave the shop happy, Kreutzer every two days on the ass and ask for the order. Meanwhile, one knows, and obviously annoyed. Then, when finally arriving to the books and he senses a chance to get rid of the troublemakers quickly, I just happened the first book for a long time and says: "hmmm nei, the hani nid bstellt that s'falsche manner, "the book lays it carelessly to the side, it's the wrong thing, the ass mumbles something that takes you to the next book and says" hmmm nei, au nid, definitely s'falsche! ".
look at the third book is the ass reproachfully. It is important to the reproachful look which one has set up on it, as if one had to his 7th Sacher cake and a birthday wish got carrot cake instead. If you have fixed the ass then. The eye contact is made. The ass cramped clinging to the bar. If you hold the book with arms outstretched in front of him and reads in a loud, strong voice, so that all Attendees will hear: "Baby Ficker, Urs Allemann, Deuticke Verlag Wien! So de trash! Hands you the bstellt "



(Note to writers: there's the book really was even awarded the Ingeborg Bachmann Prize)

Sunday, August 7, 2005

South Carolina Template Drivers L

Once fully please!

? Ice zweiesächtzg !!!", it is a breath of the desperation in his voice. effort "Ahhh OK, I give myself to some extent, to act interested. "Irritate you nöd up?" He looks at me as one who is just about to find out that his eldest son, like women's underwear with. "Ähmm I nid white. So exactly I never überleit no han me, "I say.

go a few days later I passed a gas station and read: "Lead-Free 95 ... 1.62 ... Q. '(and such a little bit later asked me the signaled five ... ... there are still 0.5 cents per liter on it to ) set. Is that a lot? I leave from my on-board computer's average fuel consumption. Like he spits out the desired information: 13.7 Aha. So about 14 liters per 100 kilometers. That's a lot I think my mobile phone out suppose activate the camera, the display to the onboard computer, instant fuel consumption 'and step on the gas. Let's see what the swallows so if I give him the spurs.

I am quite astonished. Not so very happy that my V8 is thirsty, but the fact that I've never really cared about until now. What for? Exhaust emissions, CO2-border areas and be sucked term "particulate pollution were far have been beyond my range of interests. Why am I a bad person? Do I feel guilty that the gas station every week I filled 80 liters in the belly of my armor? If I now often take time to train? Squeeze me with all the commuters rabble in a compartment? All the good-humored deforestation-preventer gegenübersitzen und so tun als würde mich ihr Gefasel nicht an den Rand des Wahnsinns treiben?
Es ist bedenklich wie weit mein Unterbewusstsein schon von omnipräsenten Ökospinnern infiltriert wurde. Wenn das so weitergeht kriegen die mich doch tatsächlich noch dazu, einen dieser grotesk anmutenden, aber umweltfreundlichen asiatischen Kleinstwagen zu lenken. Oder noch schlimmer, ich steige aufs Fahrrad. Freiwillig! Und wo ist bitteschön der Platz für meinen elektrisch verstellbaren Ledersitz? Nixda! Ich soll strampeln. Soll unter keuchen von A nach B gelangen. Ein verschwitztes Sakko in kauf nehmen. Mir die Hosen mit diesen Reflektor-Beinklammern von der schmierigen Kette fern halten. Das alles damit mein Gewissen beruhigt ist? Damit I act in the sense of nature? Who knows what nature wants? Has she ever spoken to me? No! Crybaby to Moritz? Probably.

After some back and forth I remember a saying of the wise Al Bundy: "It is the right of a man is to drive a gas guzzler, so brides to tear open. I must smile, my gear switch to "S" for sport and try the current fuel consumption in the three-digit multiplier to hunt.