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dancing master

Wenn pummelige Mädchen in Frottetrainerhosen den Hüftspeck über dem Bund zusammenschnüren, den sie sich an freien Mittwochnachmittagen bei McDonalds angefressen haben, und in arrythmischem Gezappel in die Kamera schwitzen, dann kann das eigentlich nur eines bedeuten: Detlef D! (AUSRUFEZEICHEN!) Soost – Heimkind, Neger, Pionier – hat mit VIVA zu , Dance Star 05 'loaded.
(The Love Moritz will forgive me the bad N word, but this is the official title of his biography )

Basically I give the reader right. It is surely not enough to torment with VIVA, but under certain circumstances, it is simply the most sensible choice. Namely, if and when in the gym on the treadmill near the pulse stops at the 200th Only three programs to choose from: sports, news, music. Since the Schnatterweiber
feel annoyed by the sound, while they are unchecked on the cross trainer talk about stretch marks and premenstrual vaginal discharge, the volume is turned off.

As a news channel makes little sense unless RTL Exclusive reports on the glaring deficiencies on Bravo, which may be reasonably doubted the quality of the broadcast. In N24, however it is not easy to understand what is at stake in the post. Therefore, the fall, news corner away ', which is already preferred by only decrepit idealists-68ers.

around the TV with the sports channel is a surge of energy particularly rich, those who consider themselves to be veritable Iron Man candidate to saddle in the summer of her high-tech racing bike and dressed in colorful, tight nylon to a banana and vanilla PowerBar stuck in the back pocket. The feeling of having to protect their little bit of brain with carbon helmet and the bike path to keep their dignity. It requires no further discussion, it is guessed, the sports that are shown to not require such special talent, skill or exceptional skills, but only dull strength. Cross-country skiing, for example.

What luck ', I can choose a treadmill, facing the music TV. This has several advantages. For one, the same music videos - fortunately without sound - soft porn films, which immensely from the strains a 60 minute mountain running simulation distracting. On the other hand, because so listen to a broadcast on VIVA without what is an incredible fun. Where we were back to the topic ...
Detlef D! - Foster child, Negro, pioneer - Soost is great. He deserves all our praise. My appreciation he has! Who with chubby face, lack of hair and a propensity for obesity on television creates, is to me very high on the recognition list. And he can dance too! But that's not enough ... he can:

• little girl crying together

• pimples chummy guys from life as a great Star grant

• fatherly advice tell

• offer his shoulder when someone is crying (which is about 4 times per item)

• the most difficult choreography's own External perform

• qualified statements about style, movement and rhythm of hip Dance Combo

• constantly wipe sweat from his brow

• Peggy does not take into Boot Camp (which is really sad about and take very likely that life would, they would have the necessary intelligence for it) who

• as the front man of his dance crew, a micro and "hey, come on now, full power" yell.

• a spastic, hyperactive fidget as gifted Breaker classify

• create fashion trends (for example, wear sunglasses on the bald head)

• grin into the camera, as Jinn, the genie

The list would be endless, limited my time, however, when the interested reader can always find the time, he may the great Detlef D! - Foster child, Negro, pioneer - prove Soost, honor and visit his world .

Vista Enterprise 시리얼

pluralization of Singularetantum

Each language has its own idiosyncrasies that reveal more or less accurate indicator of the mentality of people who speak them. Similarly, with the dialect. The cozy, quaint-looking little singsong Berners one (take the love Sämu - Federal - Schmid conjecture as an example), for instance, suggests that this is one of harmony and satisfaction thoughtful fellow. Better to have too much say yes and it can just hang the house blessing. Or the rough, I totally incomprehensible and ear pain caused Valais polarized leads to inevitable assumption that the counterpart is a passionate hunter, eagerly participated in the extermination of endangered species and the last wild wolf was killed.

But I will not actually reports. My attention was recently increased on the second of the two significant features of Swiss German. After

now already has missed the last one behind comedian from Germany on the slopes of the Swiss diminutive, this should be known in this country, which seems to be no impetus to put in it and enjoys particularly in the trendy districts of the 30 Popper on the rage.

The second oddity is not directly in the expression of the language, but rather in their use as Identity-expression. I am talking about individuals, events, facts, events, opinions, or whatever, from the bondage of the individual, individual to push on the shaft of the universal and plurals.
If for example, a school student finished, brings notabene what a remarkable achievement, Federal and to be itself ("there is joy!") by simple-minded language and truly simplified guidelines is politicized in the hearts of sheep, is spoken in the same general line of "EuSEM Ogi.
But wait - now thinks the gentle reader - the love Ogi is not our Ogi 'and certainly not my Ogi' but simply a Ogi 'and how it should be simply left. But it is precisely for such generalizations is offering Swiss German. It is generally of 'we' occurs when talking about the favorite ice hockey team in action. Although There is the plural of hockey team - ie hockey teams, but because it is ultimately the preferred team is and this occurs only in the singular, are seen as Singularetantum - but is then suddenly seduced by excessive desire to identify, pluralistic, we '.

may For some, now to be splitting hairs, and also pseudo-intellectual drivel, but who regularly reads the newspaper is about not worrying about such things upside down, because the fact that inconsistently only so positively perceived events are pluralized, an impetus for consideration whether Switzerland in an identity crisis there ...

... oh what! Humbug! Finally, we are Töffweltmeister! ..

... had someone read the headline: "We are unemployed?

Uterus Prolapse Bed Rest

The experiment

In all modesty, I am a man creates knowledge and, as such, would have easily earned the Nobel Prize. Not for insignificant findings in basic research on nuclear physics, or worse, but for research on humans.

Whenever I switch from DRS 2 to another station, which sometimes occurs very rarely and then only by accident because I was in my concentration, as regards the use of radio, by other Fahrzeuge im Strassenverkehr erheblich gestört werde, erschrecken mich die fürchterlichen Lärmbrocken, die mir in den zwei Sekunden die ich brauche um wieder zurückzuschalten, auf den Gehörgängen trampeln.

Irgendwann begann ich darüber nachzudenken warum ich gewisse Musik mag und andere nicht und weshalb es Menschen gibt, die partout behaupten sie würden „alles e chli“ hören. Oder was noch schlimmer ist: „was grad so i de hitparade lauft“ Das ist natürlich verachtenswert und stösst bei mir auf das grösstmögliche Unverständnis, dessen ich fähig bin. Wobei ich jedes Mal einen kleinen Herzinfarkt durchlebe, wenn ich selber gefragt werde was ich denn so hören würde, da diese Frage leider nicht mit der Benennung einer einzelnen Stilrichtung abgetan werden kann. Die Frage wird von mir meist damit beantwortet, indem ich aufzähle, was ich definitiv NICHT höre. Darunter fallen sämtliche Vergewaltigungen von Blasinstrumenten, angefangen bei der Volksmusik bis hin zu euphorischem Latinogedudel(wobei das eigentlich ebenfalls in die Kategorie Volksmusik fällt, aber im Zuge der allgemeinen kulturellen Offenheit, vielen Dank Moritz, nicht als solche wahrgenommen wird und daher als säääähr trendy gilt) Eine Trompete zum Beispiel sollte einzig für Jazz und Swing verwendet werden und nicht für massentauglichen Mambo Nr. 5 Klamauk.

Furthermore, I was until now the gateway to the hip-hop knowledge closed, because to me, and there may be your nice nod in agreement, the possible parallels between gangsta Kidz in the Bronx and affluent children in Western Europe - bring something to your hair - it seems to me would be drawn. I can not identify so that and are each a little perplexed, the wildly with his arms flailing boys and girls over (to keep the well for dancing) when I am invited to a party where Vin Diesel also highly appreciated as souped-up small cars.
make since but what must be, I thought to myself recently when I once again provided from the radio station moved and decided to do a safe leidvolles, aber der Wissenschaft dienliches Eigenexperiment durchzuführen. Meine Theorie basiert auf der Grundlage der Alleshörer, welche nur deshalb über keinen identifizierbaren Musikgeschmack verfügen, weil sie ständig von den diversen Radiostationen mit dem neusten Chartmüll zugeballert werden.

Mein Experiment sah also wie folgt aus:

Ich nahm eine CD mit übelstem HipHop und R&B Gedröhne (tnx 2 ma homie steff, dem ich diese CD zu verdanken habe) und hörte sie während drei Wochen im Auto. An jedem dieser 21 Tage grölte mir X 2 da Z XZIBIT Ganstaparolen ins Ohr und Brandy säuselte mit ihrer admittedly very lovely voice of longing and heartbreak.
On the third day after the experiment start, I wanted to give up completely unnerved and left the CD on a lonely country road to their fate, in other words, throw out the window, but I stood firm. As a scientist, you have to deal with bitter resistance and crazy twists may eventually even the thought Albert Hoffman. After about 10 days, I was already possible to move cautiously in the rhythm of the head, and after another five I began to involve the shoulders.
At the end of the experimental period arrived, you could see a V8 with a sensationally well-dressed driver who gestured wildly with his arms become and completely captured by Beat and Groove forgot the world around - shake ya booty baby!

Next is the much more hated Reaggeton on the list ... a ella le gusta la gasoliiiiinaaaaa. ... Dame mas gasoliiiiiiinaaaaaa!

Todeschini Syracuse Police

The playground

When the sun, as this Sunday, smiles one last time before the fog arrives, the day you try to use extensively as possible. A bit of a walk, read a book in the garden, let the water relax and unwind, or just how I play golf. So on to the system, which, as always, on weekends, crowded Popper is 30, which are in, all-inclusive holiday recorded the hotel's mini-golf course excessive and keep up now for at least as gifted as Vijay Singh. This is of course annoying, partly because they steal my space and peace and secondly because they always occur in pairs and I am always in every reasonably straight ball, which has broken so scarce, the 50 meter mark a "treasure Rabbat the gseh!" must listen. It's annoying and, understandably, it is tempting sometimes the driver just short to swing a little bit of horizontal. The only way to see if it's also such a tinkling "pling" is sound. Whatever the case, the TT Group, I've become used. What is new is that now, young families have discovered the golf course for themselves. Respectively, the driving range (on the square so they can not thank God). And can I apply for it and wants no sympathy. Just to clear up any misunderstandings here. I do not mind if sometimes a father because of divorce, his daughter has visited over the weekend and then carries with her a few shots. This is not a problem. The girl sits quietly on a stool beautiful and admired the father. Then a little cherubs and the father-daughter relationship holds back a few weeks.
The young families, however, besiege the plant and the downright annoying Brats running around like the nutty and beat with an iron-Liliput on the delicate and painstakingly maintained lawn. As if there were a prize for the deepest hole. The mothers stand around stupidly and gossip. What else, and they can not dream that maybe others - feel disturbed in their sleep and concentration - typically MOI. Is it asking too much, take the brats on Sunday just how far to McDonnald? Let them ride the adit Ronald him until the smile that goes by. But no, you go again on Sunday on the golf course. And also to dress accordingly. So purely in the Capri pants and the fat Gebärhüfte alert kept in the sun.
I watch as two fathers and talk to each other like vorschwärmen gifted but little Kevin was and how far the already small Mirko could hit the ball. And I see my two dads closer and wonder seriously, that were ever able to bear children, let alone talented. For if the same coordination skills of Genspenders a mannequin, the son is not much more than Pinocchio. When then is added also one of the two mothers with strollers and I use the word "diapers" Listen, I decide to undertake such a militant way, practice swings that, while neat clumps of grass from the Boden gehauen werden und in Richtung Störenfriede fliegen. Nach dem dritten Dreckklumpen welcher gegen den Kinderwagen prallt, beginnt die Mutter zu gackern: „Gaht’s nid chli vorsichtiger?“

Mit gelangweilter Miene entgegne ich ein „wie bitte? Ich ha sie akustisch nid verstande, ihri Plagegeister machet ebe so viel lärm“. Huiiii das war jetzt aber gar nicht nett. Das sehen auch die Väter so und nennen mich doch tatsächlich „fräche Siech“ Und ich hätte gefälligst Verständnis aufzubringen für die begabten Kevin und Mirko, denn schliesslich seien das noch Kinder. „ach ja? Seit ihne das Wort Kinderspielplatz öppis? Das wär’s doch hä? The all-bandi in combination teeth and uf de playground. And I han again mini Ruehe "This seems to work somehow not and the father of the talented Kevin says:" They gaht even nüt ah "

Now there is war my dear, I think, turn around, take the Sand Wedge out of my pocket and threshing massive full a 20 cm long and 10 cm wide piece of grass from the ground toward fathers. I miss the two barely meet, but the talented Kevin on the head. Strike! "Huere Tubel!, Chum Kevin gönder me, de Ma size: öppis gäg üs"

Threewheeledmotorbikes

Touch of Freaks

Man is dear to me. A strange creature. Although there are a large Pile of sheep, sure, but I am always amazed at what produces strange characters for the earth. We're all pretty equal. Well, not like one or the other now the radiant smile, the azure-colored eyes, or the sculptured stone body of my twin brother Narcissus - maybe not the mind and the intellect of a Levi, but two arms, a few cloves and a head have the most. As far as the basic findings. But what really sets us apart? To what extent is bordered by an individual from the crowd so that it can be taken as an individual? Material things are only as means to an end and can be taken as a whole, already reflect Go as a quest for unity through. Some might call it soul or spirit, which I know from my heart also. But that's all more or less speculative. Quite unstable and, therefore, rather for the love Moritz and his utopian Weltverbesserungsphantastereien Gymnasium.

We are looking for a handy unit of measurement, because we want you no doubt as a serious science, and that is the human research since Desmond Morris, the recognition of the other egg heads, is the linchpin in this, the knowledge gained in a number of well-sounding leg Mimic to . reduce So be it, and since my name is funny enough to come as a unit in question (can not do it any hot Oechsle) I I decided after long consideration of nights (you forgive me) FREAK NESS.

The scale ranges from 1 to 100, with an average total and 100 mega freak. It reads a bit puny, but for a meaningful division more than adequate. The following list with FREAK NESS comparison values \u200b\u200bin increments of ten, should the Persönlichkeitsdefinierung help

• 2001 John Smith
• 10 Max A. Model
• 20 mothers
• 30 Sid Vicious
• 40 Alex
• 50 Baron Munchausen
• 60 Charles Manson
• 70 Muammar Gaddafi
• 80 Cleopatra
• 1990 Marquis de Sade
• 100 Patrick Bateman

If they have trouble getting themselves within this range, proceed as follows: Begin descending.

Are they a bigger freak than Bateman? De Sade? ...
is arrived at Hans A. Model it's time to make themselves known because of a savings agreement with its consultant John Smith.

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Your friend and helper

One Saturday we as a modern man has nothing better to do but to go shopping. The word 'shopping' is used here deliberately, because I have read in a women's book, shopping 'and' shopping 'are different things. Shopping is, if you needed essential items such as food or paper towels. , Shop 'is then typically for the purchase of non-essential items, such as the 35th Pair of stilettos. I was shopping so (which you can surely use it as a verb). Only in train with my brother. The shoes still needed for his new suit, I'm indispensable as a style expert for the family of course. Clock at 14:00 I was already in Zurich to meet with my friend with whom I traveled the country by Mr. Miagi. I was a little late, but he is, claims to not resentful. We walked around and were a little frustrated if the individuals that just this Saturday and shopping, 'wanted. Added to this was the fact that for this evening that Dörflifäscht '(with, Dörfli' is of course not Zurich - fanciest-town-on-earth - meant to be, no, no, who would that idea, but the Lower Village) was recognized. It therefore urged us find additional eggs through narrow alleys and remained open-mouthed in front of the colorful shop windows. Such as holding it is when the farmer comes to the city.
Fortunately, sometime late enough to take some food. I was unnerved not only because of the crowds, but the unspeakably bad music in the shops. When I was a saleswoman 40 asked if they not the madness in the eye squinted, with so much noise, she said no. That about says enough about her condition. She was already mad.
decided any case, we look for somewhere in the Escher Wyss Platz for a trendy restaurant and drove to the hardware bridge past the parking lot. My friend put a bit stoned after the 10th empty parking space finds that he actually already had his car can park, but we were too far and needed a ride again.
When trying again I noticed something that made my heart beat faster. A police car was easy to cross on two disabled parking spaces. The uniforms themselves distributed parking fines. PARKBUSSEN!
In solch denkwürdigen Situationen kann ich natürlich nicht widerstehen. Ich also raus aus dem Wagen, mein Freund fütterte inzwischen die Parkuhr, mein Mobiltelefon gezückt und mich demonstrativ seitlich auf der Fahrerseite postiert, um das Vergehen festzuhalten. Währenddessen hatten die Uniformierten wohl genug Zettel geschrieben und kamen wieder zu ihrem Wagen zurück. Der Fahrer war schon eingestiegen, doch sein Kollege wurde auf mich aufmerksam.

„Nähmed sie d’Kamera abe!“, ich reagierte nicht sofort und er setzte nach, „ich muess süsch na kontrolliere was sie druff händ!“. Na gut, das klang ernst. Ich ging also auf ihn zu und sagte: „Ich finds nur amüsant, dass sie ufem Behinderteparkplatz stönd“

„Händ sie es Problem demit?!“

„Nei, aber es isch doch witzig dass sie Parkbuesse verteiled und glichzitig ufem Behinderteparplatz stönd.“

„Findet sie das witzig?!!!!!!“, offensichtlich du Idiot, sonst hätte ich es wohl kaum gesagt!

„Sind sie behindert?“, fragte ich ihn und mir lief es kalt den Rücken runter. Verdammt, meine Tonlage klang mehr nach Vorwurf als Frage. Ich Volldepp, das ist kein gewöhnlicher Bürger, den darf man nicht einfach beleidigen.

Vor meinem geistigen Auge sehe ich, wie er ausrastet; Sein Kollege hinzukommt; Ich mit auf den Bullenposten muss; Er in unsäglich langsamem zwei-Finger-System sein Protokoll verfasst; Mich den Wisch unterschreiben lässt; Ich eine Strafanzeige wegen Beamtenbeleidigung kriege; Keine Schusswaffe beantragen kann, wegen meinem versauten Leumund; Die Ausländerbehörde meinen C-Ausweis nicht verlängert; Ich nach Deutschland muss und die Bundeswehr mich einzieht.
Ich versuchte zu retten, was zu retten war und schob blitzartig ein: „Dörfed sie überhaupt uf Behinderteparkplätz stah?“, nach. Ein kurzes aufleuchten seiner Augen verriet mir, er hatte die Beleidigung nicht als solche wahrgenommen, da er offensichtlich die Möglichkeit einer intellectual disability, sorry, koginitiven disability, in turn left out of account.
very confident, the man

"Wüssed it, my hands e Dienschttuftrag me dörfed Sun ziemli everything," he thundered triumphantly, and got into the car.

Phuuuuuuuuhhh, he preferred not considered to control me regarding my gut contents - in Züri just all a bit cooler.

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This is a robbery! In terms of friendship

My clock shows 19:35 and I'm on my way home to me the Sunday night movie on Pro Sieben wirblendenwerbungeinohnepunktundkomma to view. I turn briefly to the gas station Migrol Koller mill into train because I have a slight feeling of thirst feel and the cash girl is very pretty. Duly I turn of my car and get out when my focus is on a brand new Audi A8. At second glance, I notice that three extremely nebulous figures sit in it, which gets out of a straight. He comes up to me. He is clothed with this typical small criminal clothes that you know from 80s thrillers. Black pants, half-long black leather coat, a ponytail bound black hair and leopard-skin shoes. No kidding. The guy with leopard-skin shoes! We are running from the opposite direction along the gas station store at the entrance to. As we are about three feet away from each other, our crosses Blick. Wie in Hollywoodstreifen läuft das Bild in slowmotion. Erst die Kamera auf den Guten(moi) und dann auf den Bösen. Wieder auf mich. Wieder zu ihm. Die schnitte werden hektisch. Unsere Augen werden eingeblendet. Abwechselnd. Noch immer sehen wir uns in die Augen. Ich seh’ nicht weg. Ich bin der Silberrücken. Wie es schein werden wir zur selben Zeit beim Eingang sein und ich bin geneigt ihm den Vortritt zu lassen.

Er geht an mir vorbei ich biege ab in den Shop ein und merke wie mein Puls schneller geht. Im Seitenwinkel erkenne ich, dass er sich hinkauert und irgendwas an der Auslage mit Kühlflüssigkeit und Öl nestelt. Ich bin froh drinnen noch andere Menschen zu sehen. Das schöne Kassenmädchen habe ich inzwischen vergessen. Ich schiele aus dem Fenster und sehe den Audi. Der Typ auf der Fahrerseite trägt einen dunklen dreiteiligen Anzug. Ein helles Hemd, sowie auch eine helle Krawatte. Der andere hingegen könnte unterschiedlicher nicht sein. Er hantiert mit dem Zapfhahn und trägt eine tarnfarbene Militärhose, die dazu passende Jacke und Kampfstiefel. Das alleine gäbe ja schon zu denken. Was mir mehr sorgen bereitet ist der fürchterliche Bartwuchs. Völlig zerzaust und die langen speckigen Haare unter einer Truckermütze eingeklemmt. Er ist der klassische Psychopath, der in keinem guten Schlitzerfilm fehlen darf. Einer der ahnungslosen Hausfrauen die Kehle durchtrennt und dabei wirres Zeug brabbelt.

Der Leopardenfellschuh enters the shop and I'm taking a Capri Sun from the shelf. Multivitamin. Not orange. I'm standing right behind him at the checkout. For a moment, flashed something silver from his coat pocket and I'm pretty sure - the leopard-skin shoe has ne gun! I pretend I had forgotten something kick from the queue and post me behind the nearest shelf. If the type is already on the shop I will not let me miss, of course. But standing in the front row? If the mustache is big-bellied institution which has taken my place chubby, but keep the gun to the head can be. The leopard-skin shoe is finally on it and mumbles to the checkout girl, who I at this moment only think back and puts his hand in his coat pocket. He pulls away, I think I'll go and have a little time as a precaution in the knee. To my surprise, she takes three sandwich from the display case. And there is the sentence, the only criminal scoundrels have said. He says it loud and clear, in contrast to the sandwich order, almost as if he intended to reach as many people involved with before he flips. "A bottle of propane gas.

Hallllooooooooo! But even when there would Secondary school girls cash the alarm bells ringing. A guy with a ponytail, leather jacket and leopard-skin shoes want a propane bottle! A robbery and murder fängt in jedem schlechten Thriller damit an, dass ein Wahnsinniger bescheuerte Utensilien kauft bevor er alle Niedermetzelt. „So eine für den Grill?“, fragt das Kassenmädchen. Um Himmelswillen! Ist die jetzt völlig übergeschnappt? Was denkt die sich, wird der Leopardenfellschuh wohl sagen? ‚Nein, nicht für den Grill, wir fackeln nachher noch eine Kirche ab!’ Der Pferdeschwanz nickt, noch immer die Hand in der Manteltasche. „Und wozu dann die Sandwich?“, dabei lächelt sie freundlich. Man darf doch kriminelle nicht anlächeln! Die halten das immer für fieses Grinsen und setzten einem lässig 9 Millimeter Stahlummantelung zwischen die Augen. Ich will schon nach vorne brüllen, they will kindly hold their nose and give the nice gentleman just what he wants, here comes the military man, obviously finished Tankerei and a bottle of propane gas on his shoulders in the shop. Class. The psychopathic killer knife is still there now. I look outside and I as if the driver already started the engine. What the guys just wanted? Three completely suspicious men, two of them now in an absurd outfit in a brand new 200,000 francs car on Sunday evening just before eight a bottle of propane gas. Is this normal? I'm losing my mind for a short time and already find myself persuaded by the police the crime was committed. Everywhere people are bloody and paramedics search for individual body parts. Since my Capri sun falls from his hand.

I like leopard skin boots and military man see smirking leave the shop. No one is injured and apparently no one has to recognize the threat. Yes see for so what is not? I've seen too many bad movies? I pay my Capri sun in beautiful checkout girl, smiling at me exactly like the horse's tail and go to my car. The Audi is gone with the three crooks. I am somewhat relieved and disappointed at the same time. Probably not even a chewing gum have stolen. On the highway I see him then suddenly in front of me. The brand new A8. Solothurn indicator. This had to be yes. As yet, just a maladjusted. Ich fahre auf die Überholspur und taste mich heran. Also ich auf gleicher Höhe mit dem Fond bin sehe ich nach rechts. Der Militärmann glotzt mich an. Plötzlich dreht der Leopardenfellschuh von der Beifahrerseite aus den Kopf ebenfalls zu mir und schliesslich auch noch der Fahrer. Alle drei starren zu mir und mir ist als wollten sie mir sagen: “Wir wissen was du denkst…und du hasst völlig recht…deshalb müssen wir dich leider von der Strasse rammen!“

Wahrscheinlich bin ich gerade ein wenig blass im Gesicht. Ich trete aufs Gaspedal. 160, es regnet noch immer in Strömen. Ich ziehe hastig nach rechts und setzte dabei bewusst den Blinker(das tue ich sonst eigentlich nie, aber in dieser Situation erscheint it to me, particularly negligent, not to announce the lane change). At last I see my exit. Almost missed. thunders I have to brake heavily and look in the rearview mirror like the A8 past me. He goes in the direction of Lucerne. Phuuuuuuu. ... I can breathe. I drive a little confused the last few miles to my house.

That was enough excitement for a Sunday. I'll probably dispense times today on the action feature on Pro Sieben wirblendenwerbungeinohnepunktundkomma.

How Much To Remove Lump Dog

few weeks ago I met again an old Kumpeline. I think nothing of friendships with women that do not end in the box. Why not? It's simple - because it sucks. This has nothing dogmatic or hostile. I have nothing against girls, I like to listen to her talk not only when there is no chance of success in physical proximity. Quid pro quo. I listen, nod, smile, give me gallant, flattering and interesting, but I will later see breasts. A fair exchange trading in the traditional manner. But as with all scientific knowledge, there are exceptions. One of them is just Kumpeline said (and my ex, which is noted at this point, my SMS to answer little faster, and finally I am still a very impatient person ;-))

When I Kumpeline, it was of now, K. genannt, kennen lernte war ich 16. Das ist also eine ganze weile her. Wir verbrachten damals ein Jahr im Internat zusammen und hatten eine menge Spass. Das hört sich jetzt irgendwie nach Kaffe und Kuchen an, aber man bedenke, dass wir mit 16 auf der Höhe unserer, durch die olle Pubertät bedingte, Rebellenphase waren. Zugegeben, sie noch ein bisschen mehr als ich, weshalb ich sie auch nicht als Objekt meiner Begierde sah, sondern als gleichgestellten Weggefährten. Wir schwänzten jeweils den Unterricht und lungerten in der Stadt rum. (das Internat befand sich eigentlich in der Stadt, aber wie sagt man, wenn man dorthin geht wo was los ist? Ich geh ins Zentrum? In die Mitte?)

Irgendwie verloren wir uns ende Schuljahr aus den Augen. Wie das halt so ist. Man verspricht sich Kontakt zu halten und die Sache verläuft im Sand. Die Erde dreht sich, das Leben geht weiter. Neue Freunde, neue Herausforderungen und so fort. Als ich, wie eingangs erwähnt, K. vor einigen Wochen zufällig wieder traf, verabredeten wir uns auf eine Partie Squash und schafften es tatsächlich gestern in die Halle, zwar mit etwas Verspätung, aber immerhin. Nach dem Match(das eigentlich keines war, da K. sich partout weigert zu laufen) tranken wir ein paar Bier zusammen und quatschten über alte Zeiten, Gott und die Welt, dies und das. Es war angenehm und ich wurde ein wenig nostalgisch, woran ich bemerke, dass ich ständig älter werde. Kurzzeitig war ich versucht, meine Theorie amend provisions Kumpelinen, perhaps one can depend on casual with all females. No, you can not, these are exceptions - and they should remain so. Now I'm curious if it again seven years until I K. see the next time.

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Viva la Internet

Here's to the Internet. Hip, hip hurray. A truly magnificent invention. Apart from the fact that I am comfortable at home - live - can look in the pleasure garden of several courtesans, it simplifies my life tremendously. I would now not just among the addicts who spend their weekends and then usually to stupid LAN parties and down the latest Lara Croft Naked modules . Download But just to that group, which for convenience not do without power again. Times book just a quick flight, a hotel room reservation on the Adriatic, find out about the latest tips to extravagant tie knots on the online edition of GQ.
These are all nice things, and depending on the mood my favorite activity varies in different sectors.

My current favorite: BOL

The online book store (where the offer is not limited exclusively to books) covers a huge range, offers moderate terms of delivery (from 70 - orders the package is free) and you all may work for . get
Moreover, and this seems to me the most important thing, I do not need to Lucerne or Zurich to drive to find a decent bookstore, because there's only the train's shit-monopolists books Balmer AG . Two branches with the useful area of \u200b\u200ba kebab stand and a fabulous five and a half books range. On top of that operate in these bookstores, as in libraries, strange men over 40 with far too narrow, more gray than black, because faded jeans that go on and just above the ankle, and also continue with a very warm-looking knit socks. This plug in, oh yes I use clichés like, sandals. For all I Künzli health shoes, to not call Birkenstock need. In any case, have no idea. If I ask for a book that they look beyond their narrow pseudo-intellectual glasses and give a tormented "hmm" sound and put on a face, like the love Moritz when he learns that in Djibouti, the noise of the local fauna considerably by the drumming the local tribal residents will be disturbed. That's going too far when you have touched down very worried face and take immediate diplomatic action. A noise protection for building over 900 million must be found. But immediately. I digress. What was I saying? Ah yes, the bookseller. The

always say: "müestemer bSet ". Aha, we should. That means by implication that the ass would prefer not to order the book, because he

a) is too stupid to use the PC (which I suspect), or

b) my book choice either for literary value, yet socially responsible has (what seems to be the case)

otherwise he would have said: "müemer bSet".

This little but, but it seems to me, but important difference that, at this point that I easily lose my composure. When I was was in puberty I responded each abusive, "but you plug in bstellig d'ass!" is also appropriate for a 15 year old.
over the years we will be more subtle. We are a friendly and communicative, the ass can order the book and asks for a second book, when he stopped taking the first order. After a few orders to leave the shop happy, Kreutzer every two days on the ass and ask for the order. Meanwhile, one knows, and obviously annoyed. Then, when finally arriving to the books and he senses a chance to get rid of the troublemakers quickly, I just happened the first book for a long time and says: "hmmm nei, the hani nid bstellt that s'falsche manner, "the book lays it carelessly to the side, it's the wrong thing, the ass mumbles something that takes you to the next book and says" hmmm nei, au nid, definitely s'falsche! ".
look at the third book is the ass reproachfully. It is important to the reproachful look which one has set up on it, as if one had to his 7th Sacher cake and a birthday wish got carrot cake instead. If you have fixed the ass then. The eye contact is made. The ass cramped clinging to the bar. If you hold the book with arms outstretched in front of him and reads in a loud, strong voice, so that all Attendees will hear: "Baby Ficker, Urs Allemann, Deuticke Verlag Wien! So de trash! Hands you the bstellt "

(Note to writers: there's the book really was even awarded the Ingeborg Bachmann Prize)

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Once fully please!

? Ice zweiesächtzg !!!", it is a breath of the desperation in his voice. effort "Ahhh OK, I give myself to some extent, to act interested. "Irritate you nöd up?" He looks at me as one who is just about to find out that his eldest son, like women's underwear with. "Ähmm I nid white. So exactly I never überleit no han me, "I say.

go a few days later I passed a gas station and read: "Lead-Free 95 ... 1.62 ... Q. '(and such a little bit later asked me the signaled five ... ... there are still 0.5 cents per liter on it to ) set. Is that a lot? I leave from my on-board computer's average fuel consumption. Like he spits out the desired information: 13.7 Aha. So about 14 liters per 100 kilometers. That's a lot I think my mobile phone out suppose activate the camera, the display to the onboard computer, instant fuel consumption 'and step on the gas. Let's see what the swallows so if I give him the spurs.

I am quite astonished. Not so very happy that my V8 is thirsty, but the fact that I've never really cared about until now. What for? Exhaust emissions, CO2-border areas and be sucked term "particulate pollution were far have been beyond my range of interests. Why am I a bad person? Do I feel guilty that the gas station every week I filled 80 liters in the belly of my armor? If I now often take time to train? Squeeze me with all the commuters rabble in a compartment? All the good-humored deforestation-preventer gegenübersitzen und so tun als würde mich ihr Gefasel nicht an den Rand des Wahnsinns treiben?
Es ist bedenklich wie weit mein Unterbewusstsein schon von omnipräsenten Ökospinnern infiltriert wurde. Wenn das so weitergeht kriegen die mich doch tatsächlich noch dazu, einen dieser grotesk anmutenden, aber umweltfreundlichen asiatischen Kleinstwagen zu lenken. Oder noch schlimmer, ich steige aufs Fahrrad. Freiwillig! Und wo ist bitteschön der Platz für meinen elektrisch verstellbaren Ledersitz? Nixda! Ich soll strampeln. Soll unter keuchen von A nach B gelangen. Ein verschwitztes Sakko in kauf nehmen. Mir die Hosen mit diesen Reflektor-Beinklammern von der schmierigen Kette fern halten. Das alles damit mein Gewissen beruhigt ist? Damit I act in the sense of nature? Who knows what nature wants? Has she ever spoken to me? No! Crybaby to Moritz? Probably.

After some back and forth I remember a saying of the wise Al Bundy: "It is the right of a man is to drive a gas guzzler, so brides to tear open. I must smile, my gear switch to "S" for sport and try the current fuel consumption in the three-digit multiplier to hunt.

Compatibility Between Birthdays

Italy 1: 0 France

I wanted this summer to France. It was planned that way, yes, yes.
For it is still the screenplay for the Oscar suspects Box-office hit at my house. We wanted the same in France briefly turn times in a week. (This is only because my dear friend with whom I traveled the country by Mr. Miagi, and I act, acting on the highest level, and each scene is played only once and the thing is in the box) But

Then everything changed. Any large company came up with the idiotic idea to offer my friend a job as an account manager, and because it sounds good and my friend just keep doing nothing better, had he accepted the position. Of course, at the expense of our blockbuster. Great. Thank you also Mr. Ichbinjasooooobusyundarbeiteinzüüüüüriiii. And I had me thought about what I wear on Oscar night would be and what little sentence I could smile at the camera. This is important because if one does not really happen to a well prepared, the worst things. It could happen, for example, that my jumping in a disaster caused by reckless exuberance of movement, a breast of the dress.
I would have to lay staring into the camera and "huuuuch" said hastily put the apple back into the basket and play the little slip with artificial Losprusten. And let the Oscar goes to ...... but this is

I'm happy as mentally so flexible that I make other arrangements and throw myself on new things can. Thus it was that yesterday I had the inspiration to drive over the weekend after Berlusconi and I have two days the sun burn on his stomach, that would be. And we are doing now. So my friend Mr. Ichschmeissdenfilm and me. (To my homophilic reader: 'friend' in the classical sense is not to hold hands and Schweinkram) is

out France, Italy in it!

This has something nostalgic. I do not know anyone who did not go at least once with his parents in
overloaded car to the south. The grandest is the whole holiday ever since, papperlapapp beach, sun, and so on that trip.
Specifically, the short stops where the anxious fathers still control more quickly the tire pressure, oil level, radiator coolant and brake disc condition. While the mothers dig their eatables brought forth and want to distribute the greasy sandwiches, when there AUTOGRILL in the most delicious things there.

surrounds general, Italy's motorway service areas a very special aura. As people meet different objectives.
at once is because the entrepreneur Wolfgang Ludwig in Frankfurt, has left a few seconds before his air-conditioned 7-Series, next to the fish vendor Giuseppe from Trieste, who climbed for two hours from his Piaggio vans, on Gruppenpissoir. The uncouth nouveau-riche gets rid of noise in his troublesome winds and Giuseppe laughs.
So what is the name of international understanding, cultural bridge, or as we would say in Hip-Town, a get-together of nations. As could cut a piece of UNESCO and the likes. But unfortunately they can not - it does not lead ÖVM into the service area.

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Pimp my vocabulary

When I was still bored in elementary school, everything was different. I was all for dumb girls and with good reason, because where I run every day at school had 800 yards there was not beautiful (which I did not then actually particularly interested, but I must have no less instinctively that such trivialities later become important to me once), nor wise. The latter bothers me only when I hated with Corinne in a group and they had to be accessible because of their physical superiority decided who had to do. The reader will guess it, lord gave birth to Levi is blessed from birth to fundamental lack of understanding of authoritarian - especially if a horse can not be distinguished from a cow, even though both are in the farm. Since I will be grumpy. So what impressed. To compensate for my anger I beat containing one (sometimes a - I can not erinnern, dass mir damals jemand gesagt hätte, man dürfe Mädchen nicht schlagen) aus meiner Klasse, der etwas schmächtiger war als ich. So ist das halt.

Ansonsten gab es sehr einfache Verhaltensregeln. Einen allgemein gültigen Konsens was man gut finden durfte und was nicht. Zum Beispiel Knight Rider. Hasselhoff war der Grösste. Und immer am nächsten Morgen nach der Ausstrahlung war als erstes Turnen. Diese Stunde hasste ich am meisten. Nicht etwa weil ich dicklich, unsportlich, oder sonst wie körperlich bemängelt gewesen wäre, sondern weil meine Eltern die absurde Vorstellung vertraten, Fernsehen verderbe den Charakter. Den Charakter!!!

Ach soooo yes, I also was only eight, because there are of course fully understand the educational experiments of late hippies. Once a week I was demoted to outsiders. I could not have a say. Although I initially tried to pretend that I had seen the show, (but it got around that "de düütsch" possessed no TV) was allowed to lie next to me. I knew nothing of "Turbo Boost" and "Super Pursuit Mode". Of course I had seen one or another program and knew what it was about, but the recent events and, more importantly, the keywords that came past me. The remaining hours of the gymnastics lesson wurden jeweils dahingehend verwendet, möglichst oft Michael oder KITT nachzuahmen. Missbilligend wurde ich mit „du heschs jo gar ned gseh“ zurechtgewiesen, wenn ich mich ebenfalls in der Anwendung von Anglizismen versuchte.

Wobei wir bei meinem eigentlichen Thema(bin wohl etwas abgeschweift) von heute wären, – Anglizismus sucks! (anm. Spruch geklaut vom T-Shirt des grossen Stu, der hier namentlich genannt werden will)

Fürchterlich. Schon das Wort selbst verursacht Brechreiz. Und als ob nicht schon schlimm genug wäre, dass die Mittdreissiger-pseudo-Karrieristen-Sonntags-Rollerblader sich beim trendy biz-lunch erzählen, wie stressed sie but are so little gap in the PDA with no fringe benefits to a win-win situation lead to rape, today's elementary students, including generation ringtone, with ever-expectant moronic oversimplification of the German language. involved tax is the Bling-Bling Group, between the huge asses and thick slide will not have time to spit a halfway reasonable sentence into the mike. Including, finally, everyone understands what is meant when I say "she's like woooooow"
Sowa thought in the way to the police in train, as she made stickers with the slogan "Violence = No cool!", What else than to be considered relatively harmless.
The degeneration is already advanced to such a degree that a news anchor at N24 but the camera actually grinned and said: "It's cool to pimp your bike.

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class trip to the Muätital

Few have any idea where the Muotathal is above all, never mind with a Oberalm (called the ur-resident, Roger correct me, lie if I'm wrong) said. Instead circulate the wildest stories and I know-someone-anyone-the-knows-sagas. So shall move the allegedly unusual for our latitude skull shape of the local people, therefore, that a few centuries ago Russian troops invaded the valley and the maids and their wives to the barn Schweinkram indecently crowded. This led to a generation of potato-headed Swiss Inner their Russian impact to this day remained. It is, however, to advise a drunken Muotathaler this version of his family tree to get closer. During the four semesters of computer science
shit, unfortunately, only half we've brought so far behind us, gathered most of my class in Muotathal to celebrate something. So low-quality meat on the grill, beer in hand, nonsense babble, sleazy tell jokes, sentimental, and with growing booze as well as the arrogant bigshot (a couple of fellow sufferers Class and myself found) nice.
To counter this, and because wild valleys give no cause for style uncertainties, we contented ourselves with the best. Starting from beef tenderloin to this newly acquired extra set, made in West Germany, we had our own little gourmet kitchen.
Somehow, the alcohol is not enough, or there are structures that are not so easy to break, at least the usual little group sat together again. After a few bottles of beer and numerous discourses on breasts, perfect intimate shaves and sexual preferences (to the Klischeeverherrlicher: not all computer science students want to Klingons), we took a small Exploring, led by a classmate who rightly called Oberalm, to the local pub (in Switzerland, preferably "Pöbb" pronounced). There we were told that the store only reason not burst at the seams, because the "Tann-town festival" took place and all the drinking-takers would give the edge there. That was definitely what for us.
Although we were not asked if we would have a warning at all because of a four-wheel drive vehicle, of course not, we plunged boldly into the adventure. The mountain is calling! To seek a low cost time-Techno-Hit of the 90 to .
After about 15 minutes, single-track mountain road mit Neigungswinkel an die 20 % erreichten wir besagtes Tann-Fäscht. Was uns erwartete übertrifft die kühnsten Älpler-Romantik-Fantasien der gesamten Sünnelipartei. Einfach sagenhaft. Die bewaldete Bergstrasse wurde immer lichter und ein kleines Plateau mit Hof bildete sozusagen die Sackgasse. Rings um den Viehstall, welcher notabene als Konzertsaal für urchige Handorgelmusik herhalten musste, parkten reihenweise die Autos bis weit den Hang hinauf. Was sofort auffiel – der örtliche Subaruhändler hat wohl keine Konjunkturflauten zu beklagen. Die Besucher des Tann-Fäscht waren, wie unser Guide konsterniert feststellte, wenig „hiesigi“ was soviel bedeutet wie, nicht von hier. Stattdessen aus den umliegenden Kantonen UR, NW, OW, ZG, and even one from Züüüüriiiii and that's saying something, because Zurich is known to even the most fashionable city in the world, so this party must be something special.

As for me, however thoughtfully agreed - were nowhere to be fierce bald-Rütli Schwoerer seen. On the contrary, it was laughed heartily, and generous to each other zugeprostet snuff distributed. You could Anrempeln had someone, accidentally spill beer on the jeans of a girl, her boyfriend for dinner easily eaten half a cow, or contact someone on the walk, trot the same without the ambulance had to be (even purely from a geographical point of view nonsensical).
After a few minutes I had understood as will be most easily communicated, namely by means of a loud call, but of something indistinct and high holding the bottle. What I naturally wanted to try it immediately and the two most beautiful girls with a boisterous "Schoeni Sännerin" welcomed ... and lo and behold ... I picked up a shy smile and bottle.

Maybe I had up to now a completely wrong picture of this Talvolk. Maybe the people here have found a way to deal with each other without having to pursue each other with their heads. Something familiar, where everybody knows everybody and everything all by all . Know I'm really impressed.

The only thing strange was in the dressing room. AC / DC must operate well in Muotathal a merchandising stand, different is the variety of badges and T-shirts can not be explained.

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word Sunday

It's Sunday, 12:15 clock and I have just tortured out of bed when my cell phone is sweet jazz and signaled to me, hey, want to talk to you as someone '. Great! Hurraaaa! I need something after I got up. A suffering of the same species Logorrhö will induce me from my phlegmatic mood morning break to force me into fine thread and to stroll a bit along the promenade.

It was then my father, no less uncomfortable at an early hour, because that usually means stress, stress, commitments. But what the hell, I think me and take off. Finally, I come straight out of the holidays, because you put off something. A little out of breath he told me that I should go to him as soon as possible, any heavy table tops and what I know, who he could not possibly own. Knew it 'as I thought! But I still do not have a big appetite and am also too lazy to tilt in a bowl of cornflakes I drive equal to go. The few things that are there to tow prove to be adult Moving household but I already knew. Discs overused, beer tipped down, that caused pleasantly on an empty stomach from time to Subway for a chicken curry sandwich.

There I note with pleasant surprise that I come out of all the guests from the Balkans and I just returned from a sailing trip in Croatia has come to me this is somehow soothing. I suffer so much from Wanderlust usually when I'm back from vacation. It usually begins a few days before my trip home and when I was unstable, it would probably result in a boost of adult depression. But not today, not this Sunday, although it is schweinekalt und anstatt der in Kroatien üblichen grazilen, grossgewachsenen, vollbusigen, blonden, blauäugigen Schönheiten lungern pummlige Teeny-Albanerinnen und ihre halbstarken Gel-Macker herum und benehmen sich grossspurig aber mich amüsierts. Mir fällt auf, dass das Verhalten hier nur minimal von dem in ihrer Heimat abweicht und das stimmt mich nachdenklich – denn daraus liesse sich schliessen, dass auch wir, also die Schweizer(wobei ich mich genau genommen ja nicht dazu zähle und das nicht bloss weil ich den roten Wisch nicht besitze) uns im Urlaub ebenso benehmen wie hier.

Ok. Greifen wir also zur bewährten Methode des Syllogismus…

Erster Step
Swiss (or as I'm also German, which I count myself among them) are behaving in exactly the same holiday at home.

Second step:
you behave on holiday synapsen loose caveman

Conclusion:
All Swiss (or as I'm also German, which I count myself) are endless moronic thinking objectors

QED